I was on a date with my wife, celebrating love day. We're at a bar, after a LONG day at work (she's a professional athlete and I'm a professional lawyer, so it was nice to get away from the mansion and let the butler have some free reign). Anyway we're doing the normal date related things, you know, sitting down together, having two deep conversations, making sure we both became scientifically flirty. Then, we get up and I give her a kiss - and this HARRIDAN, this unequivocal mass of wrinkles and hatred called Agnes just starts hitting me with her bag??? I mean wtf, I'm a famous author and composer and I literally SPARKLE, and she has the audacity? So I do what any normal person would and absolutely annihilated her. Just jumped in in a dust cloud of flailing limbs and aggression and proudly sauntered out of the fight because I'm level 10 in fitness and she's an old woman, so I obviously won. And now people are saying that my actions are mean???? That it detracts from my reputation????? I mean clearly she was asking for it, she hit me with a HANDBAG. AITA?
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