sims 4..is it good?

It's not bad, but it's not like the previous incarnations. From what I can tell, most people who've played the others find Sims 4 a bit lackluster comparatively. Personally, I like sims 4, it can get a bit stale at times, but I don't play traditional ways and the next xpac may change things as it's adding a bit more gameplay that seems closer to it's older siblings.

With mods, you can do a lot of QoL stuff and I don't recall if there is or not, but there should be some way to turn off some of the zany deaths. Either by way of settings or mods. I have everything and I can only suggest that if you do buy something. Get only the things that interest you and remember that it will not be like the previous sims games. Nothing is quite like your first time with anything.